You're probably wondering where I've been.
Not here.
He and I celebrated our 1 year in September. This weekend we're going to Vegas, so I can give Him a very late anniversary gift. I hope He likes strippers
Posted at 04:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
I logged on to Vox today and got the message..
"We're closing Vox September 30th"
Six Apart is encouraging everyone to move to TypePad. I knew this was a sinking ship when they stopped all support of this place.
Vox is a piece of shit.
So, I'll move the blog and let you know where I've moved.
Posted at 02:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Our anniversary is coming up...
I was looking through this blog again because I was wondering how many dates I had been on during my time. I count 24 dates. Since 2007 to 2009 (when I started up with Him) I went on 24 dates. Some of them lasted longer than others. Most were only first dates or undates. Other dates went on way past their expiration (The Canadian, The Irishman, and The Korean).
Posts from my past that I found funny, ironic and telling of my experience in hindsight.
Posted at 01:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
We had our first big "fight" last week. And I say "fight" because we were having the "fight" while not in each others' physical presence.
Long story short, what could have been a trip for two turned into a solo trip for myself to visit a friend for her birthday. He got upset that I made that decision all on my own. And yes, I did make that decision for myself since I am visiting MY friend. But I also made that decision for us, since a trip to NYC for two on short notice was not in the budget.
I am frugal after all.
Since He still won't come clean about His finances (He knows how much money I have and make), I have to work under the assumption that He's struggling since HE ALWAYS PAYS FOR EVERYTHING.
Now what made this into a real fight was that He decided to ignore me all last week. I thought He was busy. It never occurred to me that He'd be the type to be mad at me and not tell me. His reasoning - He didn't want to upset me before my Lady Gaga concerts.
I appreciate your sensitivity, but I appreciate honesty more.
Friday night I finally saw Him and was all chipper from my Lady Gaga experience, unbeknown to me that He had been furious all week. During dinner He calmly explained why He had been MIA...
And I was so hurt.
i cried and sobbed all night. It was just what I feared. He was that guy.
He apologized for being that guy. I apologized for behaving independently when we should be acting as a couple.
Letting go of my independence will be the hardest part of this relationship.
Posted at 11:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Not mine.
We were up north for His BFF's wedding. He was an usher. The ceremony was beautiful. Perfect I should say.
You're next.
That's all we heard the entire time. What can you do when you hear something like this? I just laughed and said, "We've never had that conversation sober. Too much pressure!" It's kind of true. We did talk about weddings back in December, but we were at a wine bar, drunk off our bar stools.
It bothers me. It's not that I don't want to marry Him, but that people are already making that choice for us. Marriage should be on our own terms, on our own time. I feel like there's still so much we need to learn about each other before we take that next step.
Still, I'm a girl and I can't help but plan our perfect wedding now. It'll be completely non-traditional. I'll have a Man of Honor, my BFF, and one bridesmaid. No matching outfits because we're getting married in Vegas by Elvis. I always thought it was a ridiculous idea and must participate. I don't have anymore details than that. If my parents want a big celebration, they'll have to pay and plan their own thing for us. We'll just show up, wear and do whatever they say, and that will be the end of that.
Posted at 11:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Last night I emerged from the bathroom in tears. He had just posted photos from our weekend adventure and there it was...
My. Big. Fat. Butt.
I've been working out hardcore for a month, but I guess not hard enough because I haven't lost any significant weight. We have a wedding to attend this weekend and I'm dreading it.
Last night I just sobbed and sobbed. I felt fat. I felt sad. He wasn't helping me. I just wanted to go home and work out. It's all I can think about. That and not eating.
If I eat, I will get fat.
The toughest part of relationships is that you have to spend time together to make it work. I am naturally antisocial, a solitary individual. I do best on my own because that means no one is watching and judging. I grew up in an extremely judgmental home, so being alone was my escape even though it was lonely (duh).
But spending the weekends with Him, I have no alone time. My alone times are those few days during the week after work. I have to cram as much work out and not eating as I can because once the weekend hits I have to hang out with Him eating and hardly doing the 2-3 hours of work out I need to.
I can't do it anymore.
So, I sobbed and sobbed. I don't feel confident in myself. I can't fit into any of my clothes. He gained weight once; He should know how it feels. I'm tired. I just want to relax, but I can't. I want to fit into my clothes more.
And I'm resentful because it's so easy for Him to sit there and just say "work out" one minute, then asking me if I really don't want to have dessert the next. He can eat 3000 calories in a day. Just having a serving of mango sorbet is 15 minutes on the elliptical for me.
I don't know if He "got it" finally after I explained through my tears.
I can't sleep tonight. That's precious time wasted when I could be working out.
Posted at 10:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
It was off to Napa last weekend for His bff's bachelorette party. No vulgarity allowed. This was a sophisticated affair.
It was a long weekend and I'm so tired. I need a vacation from vacation.
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I said it once and I'll say it over and over - nice guys are the worst guys to date.
Wuss.
So, my very good friend had a date with a Nice Guy, but he turned out to be a coward and unavailable.
Why didn't you say so before?
Listen Nice Guys. Stop wasting our time going out on dates with us, only to turn around a week later in some cowardly txt or email that you're too busy, don't have time to date, are not emotionally available.
Posted at 04:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Sunday went well. I don't know if my parents love Him, but I think they're happy that He's not a crazy freak. I'm sure they're proud to see me move onto a new phase of my life.
But I'm not promising grandkids...
And that was that. I told my mom that He and I have started talking about moving in together, but with no firm date on that. We're just talking and I'm dreaming about redecorating...
Posted at 10:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Last night I was at the gym, trying to burn off this new-happy-relationship 20 weight gain when I notice someone a few machines down from me.
No, it can't be! I hope he doesn't see me.
My one-nighter.
He lives in the area, but what the fuck is he doing at the gym on July 3rd? Only chubby girls like me should be a the gym over a National holiday weekend. Thankfully, I was barely recognizable in my current gym state. For one I had my clothes on and my hair was up, not to mention the change in body type.
Off to pick Him up from the train station!
Posted at 10:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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